Cushion Lips: Not Much of a Review

Hello.

Today I will be reviewing two darling Korean beauty products I bought from the store Urban Outfitters. I use the term "review" loosely, for what I really should call it is a Cautionary Tale. However, though I do not know much about this world, I do know that the people who are most in need of Cautionary Tales are the ones who heed them least. I know that because I am one of them.

So it goes.

In a fit of madness, I had bought a darling velvet dress from the contemptible (but secretly delicious) Urban Outfitters after Christmas. The dress is wonderful. It looks like the sort of thing I would wear to a séance in 1923. However, I had full intentions to return it. This is because I do not often attend séances in 1923.

In returning the dress, I planned to purchase a few super-cute Korean beauty products, which the store has been carrying lately. In doing so, I would feel as though I wasn't spending money, as more money than I was spending was going back into my coffers. I have been a fan of this unique money-making technique since high school, when I first discovered Sephora, solitary shopping, and San Francisco.


However, all did not go as planned. I did not return the dress. In addition, I bought myself two lip colors. I bought them because I was giving myself a reward for getting a second job. However, that did not go as planned either. I decided not to take the second job. Yet I was still left with two lip colors and a dress suitable for a séance in 1923.

Reader, if you fail to see why this tale is cautionary by now, I must ask you:
Do you like piña coladas?

I myself have never had one, but being a fan of fruity alcoholic beverages and pineapple, I think I would find it to be a very pleasant drink.

Do you enjoy getting caught in the rain if there is a flash flood warning?

I don't live in a climate where this happens very often, so I can't comment on my own reaction to such a situation.

But I digress.

Because I have written so much already, I will be forced to cut this review short. Even I do not have that great of an attention span regarding myself.

I bought:
1. Peripera's Cushion Lips in "PK08 Bye Nineteen"
2. GAAHHHH I lost the other one already!!! And I actually liked that one!!!  >:(

Well, anyway it was called Holika Holika Aqua Petit Jelly CC Tint Bar and it smelled fruity, like a hip teenage girl who is very cute and who is not covered in acne and angst like I am today even though I am not a teenage girl any more.

I bought the product Cushion Lips because I wanted to have Cushion Lips. There is a trend in beauty right now where people overdraw their lips to the point of madness, which I think looks just great on Instagram. I do not know how it looks in real life. The one time I overdrew my lips, I looked crazy, as though I had been punched in the mouth with some lip liner.

I liked the effect, actually, but it was what the big-hairs in charge like to call "editorial."

I will say that Peripera's Cushion Lips did make my lips look rather cushiony. They looked like outdoor cushions which have been left in the rain, become bloated with water, and have then dried and cracked in the hot sun.

The product seems to sit directly on top of the lips, rather than melting with them. Even very matte lipsticks seem to adhere to the lips better than Cushion Lips did for me. The first time I used it, I applied it directly from the tube in Anthropologie. As I walked out of the store, large, hot pink flakes of lip were left in my wake.

The second time I used this product, I first moisturized with Aquaphor, exfoliated with a q-tip in the manner of Lisa Eldridge, and then used a lip brush to apply the product. Using less product in a more precise manner made for a more attractive, but still rather dry effect. 

Terrible quality picture makes it difficult to see terrible quality product.
Gentle reader, I will try harder next time.

As for the color, "Bye Nineteen" is a bit garish for my skin coloring. It is a very neon sort of pink, with quite a bit of orange in it. It didn't look terrible, but it looked very dull and very matte, and clashed with the red in my skin. It also made my teeth look awfully yellow.

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

I can't recommend this to you.

Hey! Hey there, missy!

You're not listening to a word I say!

I guess this wasn't much of a review. 

It was:
A Cautionary Tale.

The End